Please leave comments about your pre/post wedding newlywed experiences: helpful scriptures, stories, books, mentor examples. Also, post a photo !
Getting married ?
- Get to know your mate – sooner than later is highly recommended. Here’s an excellent resource to do just that.
- A list of short questions to see if you are both thinking in the same direction. Hopefully its more about how these topics can be approached by both of you as “what does God have for us in this regard” than “I”m right, your wrong”. http://aweddingministers.com/wedding/premarital_quest.htm
- Frankly, discussion questions are good for assessment and reassessment and refocusing at any point in marriage.
Just Married ?:
- Step One: Devotions for life – if your disposition doesn’t take on a God purposewhen you have to pray outloud daily in front of him/her for him/her, then your not trying.
- Making a mission statement:
- Your scripturally defined purpose,
- you & your spouse’s defined purpose,
- your family’s defined purpose
- The first year: making a joint mission statement
- The end of the first year: time to start a joint ministry as a way to bond under Christs leading
Its always so much easier to take advice from a wise person. With others that seem “less wise”, you have to first turn to “high setting” your scriptural filters. Remember the whole “hide the Word in your heart so that you won’t sin” and “be able to give a reason for what you believe” things ? Just like a sermon we must always hit reset in the mind and listen to teachings with the Word in mind, prayerfully listening to the Spirit’s application to our life. So when we have teaching for one who we respect their collective teachings and world view as seemingly in line w/ Gods word, we can relax a bit and enjoy the teachings.
Such is the case with “I, Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah” written by Ravi Zacharias.
Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. We like the side dealing with emotion, not the will.
I agree with Ravi: He is “convinced that God created marriage, in large part, as a base for ministering to others.” For me, that was the absolute the number one consideration in who I would marry & how we would plan our life. Basic “out of the shoot” criteria was daily devotional time together. We must take a serious look at someone that we will be joined to for life that does not want to give a few moments daily to take direction from God. Conversely, we must thank God for a spouse that does bow to His lordship.
I remember one of the biggest criteria I had before a partner was willingness for daily devotions & prayer.
The statistics are about 99 to 1 that couples praying for each other daily will surpass the America statistics on marriage. There are great “devotional” books, but I highly recommend not only “marriage devotions”, but having at least one “how to, marriage devotions” book.
There is a great book we have that gives chapter by chapter examples of how differing schedules, backgrounds, and comfortability levels are overcome and worked with. I like how it highlights scriptural reference to couples challenges and potential triumphs for their circumstances.
Sure, you can go w/ a
- daily ( calendar ) devotional
- topical – very useful way to gently work thru areas like communication/ finances/ in-laws/ etc
- book of bible / character studies
But we’ve found one other very useful tool you must have in your toolbox – its on the “tools” page. Online resouces. We will click online and use Radio Bible Class. On occasion its nice when neither has the energy or softness of heart to go on autopilot and let the narrator read the devotional/ then the scripture/ then pray aloud. We follow w/ comments and affirming the prayer. Similar works are available on Ravi Zacharius’ site rzim.org, wonderful audios of his talks on deep subjects, including “I Issac take the Rebekah”, a 2 part must hear program on preparing for and living out the married life as Christ intended.
I challenge you to test the “pray together/ stay together” theory and post here your feedback !