Devotional sites, books, basic psychology & physiology tools, sample mentoring programs:
Devotionals: Over 99% of couples that pray for each other, with each other, daily, not only stay married, but report higher marital & intimate satisfaction.
- Psychological basics: I like to use these interpreted scripturally. In other words, there are many examples of scriptural situations of NEEDS hierarchy in play, how the STRESS SCALE plays into ones ability to interact “normally” with others – or NOT, and how various PERSONALITY TYPES are shown in major scriptural characters – exemplifying how we must use the positives and work to control the less wonderful tendencies.
- Holmes and Rahe STRESS SCALE worksheet
- Holmes and Rahe STRESS SCALE calculator
- Holmes and Rahe STRESS SCALE How full is your spouses bucket of “things’ that he/she carries ? Do you need to help him/her carry some of those or do you need to give more to God ? This will determine how easily you can “splash over” when one more little thing in is thrown in your too full bucket. Oft times others are frustrated more with the bucket full they carry then they are with you and you need to both recognize this and look into their bucket and see what you can take out.
- Maslows HIERARCHY OF NEEDS Understand this basic concept and you’re on your way to having a grasp of the fact that no one cares about whats further up the list until the things lower on the needs list are assured. Help your spouse at the lower level, then constantly pursuit an upward path in Christs perfect purpose & His plan for you both.
- 4 Personality Types Default actions and reactions are the place you begin to understand how both you and your spouse react once you’ve “typed” your personality. Are you an Abraham ?, Moses ?, Paul ? or Peter ? A lion? otter? , beaver ?, golden retriever ? A Choleric? Sanguine? Grasp your personality type, find christian based materials to see how you can compliment, not battle with each other. Here’s a great chart.
- Marriage enrichment and support:
- http://www.marriagemissions.com Broad and in-depth support site. Many good subsections for men/women/ abuse/ newlywed/ unfaithfulness/ children.
- Further study:
- Life coach type articles: http://www.pslinstitute.com/
- Mentoring specific:
- Focus on the Family: Marriage Mentor Resources
- Focus on the Family: CROSS CULTURAL MARRIAGE MENTORING
- Companion site to our workshop text MARRIAGE MENTOR SITE.COM
- Covenant Guidelines
- Books / Authors we’ve found useful: I’ve written a few book reviews on our facebook page & will add to this area soon. The basic premise is to seek wisdom from scripturally sound authors on the basics of spiritual living for a scriptural purpose and gain insights for interaction first with God, then spouse, then family, then fellow believers, etc. You’ll find examples also on Premise page.
- On communication / on family dynamics / on challenges:
- Finances: This is the #1 area of marital conflict & central in Christs teachings. So after you’ve covered Matthew 25, make sure to revisit regularly Crown Financial Ministries and Dave Ramsey for home economics ideas.
Sample MARRIAGE MENTORING PROGRAMs:
For the Mentoree: Would you like to better understand the complexities of married life i.e. expectations, needs, differences, communication, conflict resolution, finances, sex and more? Connect with a seasoned mentor couple who is further down the marriage journey.
Fill out this form if you would like to be mentored (pdf)
For the Mentor: Whether you have been married for months or decades, this is an opportunity to build relationships that can have a positive impact for generations to come. Would you like to experience the reward of mentoring other couples? Become a Marriage Mentor.
If you are interested in becoming a Marriage Mentor, or would like to be mentored, please contact the Discipleship Office.
Fill out this form if you would like to be a Marriage Mentor (pdf)
Marriage Mentor Training meets the third Saturday of each month, 9-11am, Conference Room