“Love is a commitment that will be tested … force you to make some very difficult choices.
… that demands that you deal with
- your lust,
- your greed,
- your pride,
- your power,
- your desire to control,
- your temper,
- your patience,
- and every area of temptation that the Bible clearly talks about. It demands the quality of commitment that Jesus demonstrates in His relationship to us.”
“The important thing to bear in mind is that you must face your willingness to die to yourself before you choose to walk down the aisle. Is this person the one for whom you are willing to die daily? Is this person to whom you say, “I do” also the one for whom you are willing to say, “No, I don’t” to everybody else? Be assured that marriage will cost you everything.”
“Chivalry in love has nothing to do with the sweetness of the appearance. It has everything to do with the tenderness of a heart determined to serve. You must not act under the impetus of charm, but out of a commitment to make someone’s life the joy you want it to be.”
“The apostle Paul says in Romans 13:14, “Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” In other words, do not put yourself in a place where you can fall.”
“Marriage brings together not just a man and his wife but their children and their struggles. To suddenly drop the partner who has carried that load with you along life’s journey for all these years for someone with no strings or worries attached is cruel. Marriage is not a commercial enterprise in which you replace a car you have tired of with another one.”
“Become a man or woman of prayer…Let your heart and mind be kept close to the principal calling of your life, … to hunger and thirst after God and His righteousness…
“To the young woman I say, This is the moment in your life when he who is wooing you will be at his kindest. And if you do not see kindness in the man you are dating, beware! For the partnership you are looking for will be nourished and nurtured only on the basis of a love that is not arrogant or prideful, but kind.”
“Many pray for the right partner but cease to pray for the right union–that they be one as Jesus and the Father are one..”
“In the early days of marriage, joy precedes the act. Tragically, as the years go by joy can be severed from the act until finally, the act itself is no more. This ought not to be. Over time it is the companionship that brings joy, and service is the natural outworking of the joy of commitment. Failure to act kills it.” s
“Think long and hard whether you have reached that mature stage of selflessness for this one you think you love so much. The love you enjoy will be the best thing that ever happened to you, but it will cost you your independence…. The responsibility of marriage and family demands time, and when we cheat on that, we rob ourselves of the investment returns.”
“Let your devotional life be the beacon that guides you through the tough terrain you will face.”
“Just as strength is a man’s charm, so charm is a woman’s strength.”
“That is what a well-guarded prayer life can reveal about us, that our trust is not in ourselves but in seeking God’s strength for what we do.
“Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you will (choose) to love somebody, you can. – Ravi Zacharias’ brother”
Video series on moving from courtship to marriage. Higly recommend.
Many times I’ve actually discourage married couples from building new, buying a fixer upper, or ‘taking a shot’ and investing. Why? Because financial stress can devastate a home and I’ll not take a commission at the expense of a marriage. Yes, I’ve even studied family counseling for years because of the stress that comes with large life changes – like real estate transactions! So I found this very refreshing – just saw this article about how these folks have a date night each week with no business allowed.
I think I’ve heard this story before, they like to rehab homes, he can move the walls, she can add the flair, they don’t do TV but prioritize Christ. Wasn’t sure whether to put this on my RealtyNetWorth.com site or on our mentoring page.
We’ve already discussed the importance of having ‘tools’ ahead of need. One resource I mentioned we use is http://odb.org aka: Our Daily Bread. You can listen and follow along in many languages & translations. Further, the website offers classes – many free – such as these:
I pray this resource adds depth to your marital walk. What favorite resource do you have and why is it so useful in your situation ?
1. PRAY TOGETHER ALWAYS
2. READ THE SCRIPTURES TOGETHER ALWAYS
3. Go on regular date nights
4. Hide notes in secret places
5. Go to bed at the same time
6. Listen to music together-share ear-buds
7. Buy him gifts he will love
8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
10. Praise your spouse to other people
11. Read a marriage devotional
12. Sleep in his t-shirts
13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
15. Go away together at least once a year
For Women Only
16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
17. Make his favorite dessert
18. Make sex a priority
19. Spend time apart occasionally
20. Learn to enjoy something he loves
21. Surprise each other
22. Meet him at the door
23. Text each other from across the room
24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
For Men Only
26. Leave work on time and come home early
27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
28. Compliment each other
29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
31. Kiss every day
32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
33. Forgive quickly
34. Be honest.
35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
36. Look your best as often as you can
37. Guard your marriage
38. Laugh together
39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
41. Make each other breakfast in bed
42. Do her chores for her
44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
44. Dance together-soft music (both of you alone) or rocking music with the kids
45. Exercise together- hikes, bike riding, etc
46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse
47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture
48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
51. Support each other’s goals
52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)
53. Wear something your spouse loves
54. Share furniture-sit in his lap
55. Fight for your marriage
56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.
57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.
58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!
59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world.
60. Speak well of your spouse
In case you haven’t found links elsewhere on this site, I’m reviewing one of many of my “toolbox for the Christian life” must haves:
Let My People Think Daily Radio
One of the most articulate Christian Apologists in the world today, Indian-born, Canadian-American travels the world lecturing and debate at public universities and the like. A treasure trove of audio files on topics that challenge you when challenged by others.
Its the opinion of an article’s author that men & women need space. They should:
- acknowledge and plan for it in specific terms,
- should disclose the specifics about what they do during such time,
- will have differing space needs based on childhood nurturing styles, should keep such time to an “as needed” max.,
- must realize if such time is not planned for it will be taken in a physical and/or emotionally offensive way creating counter productive distance,
- women need space more oft then men,
- and expect to reap rewards because of time for refreshment !
Here’s the WSJ article.
Naturally, any human advice must be filtered with scripture. Here’s some ideas, what would you ad ?
- “…But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 (a good place to start )
- “…Do not withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so just for a set time, in order to devote yourselves to prayer.” 1 Corinthians 7:5