Posted in Couples in Challenge, New couples

Marry someone with money. (Continued) aka: Ring Bling vs True Love

I found an excerpt from the below linked article to be nearly self evident. A wedding I attended in recent years had the biggest/ fanciest reception I’d ever been too. $10k more than I paid for my first house was Anibal-Affiliates-RealtyNetWorth-Lake-Shannon-why-I-sell-lakefront-rowboat-by-dockthe drop if I recall, country club, live band, exquisite desserts in the affair. I remember distinctly sensing at the time the effort in planning their party, but how much on their marital purpose? I also recall a couple humble weddings I attended at about the same time. Church reception, modest decor, etc, the focus was necessarily on the couple. That couple had and still does share a ministry, and now a new baby! The ‘fancy wedding couple’ ? They had many more fun gatherings I hear but have sadly gone separate ways.

While diamonds may be forever, marriages that begin with expensive bling are less likely to last long term, according to a recent study from Emory University. In the research, two economics professors polled 3,000 American adults who were presently or had previously been married, discovering that individuals who spend serious cash on engagement rings and the wedding ceremony were more likely to get divorced.

http://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/2017/08/31/twitter-user-blasted-for-ring-shaming-newly-engaged-woman.html


 


Advertisements
Posted in Couples in Challenge, Growing couples

Going to work on houses ? Work on relationship first.

Many times I’ve actually discourage married couples from building new, buying a fixer upper, or ‘taking a shot’ and investing. Why? Because financial stress can devastate a home and I’ll not take a commission at the expense of a marriage. Yes, I’ve even studied family counseling for years because of the stress that comes with large life changes – like real estate transactions! So I found this very refreshing – just saw this article about how these folks have a date night each week with no business allowed.

Chip-Joanna-Clint-and-Kelly-on-Fixer-Upper[1]
I think I’ve heard this story before, they like to rehab homes, he can move the walls, she can add the flair, they don’t do TV but prioritize Christ. Wasn’t sure whether to put this on my RealtyNetWorth.com site or on our mentoring page.
Posted in Couples in Challenge

Words have meanings, please use them correctly

I realize this is my own amateur opinion. With that disclaimer I’m both NoahWebster180[1]giving and retracting my views all in one fell swoop. Huh? I’ll explain:

I’ve seen countless examples of family, spousal for example, communications take a hurtful toll over time due to the over use of confusing jargon. Sarcasm, for example, can be especially non productive when emotions or any stress level is involved. How do you know what your spouse is feeling on a subject deep down ? Whats ‘quippy’ and ‘cute’ to you may only be making the other persons view point seem of marginal value. Take the following for excerpt for example from Webster’s wiki.


In the early 1960s, Webster’s Third came under attack for its “permissiveness” and its failure to tell people what proper English was. It was the opening shot in the culture wars, as conservatives detected yet another symbol of the permissiveness of society as a whole and the decline of authority, as represented by the Second Edition.[25] As historian Herbert Morton explained, “Webster’s Second was more than respected. It was accepted as the ultimate authority on meaning and usage and its preeminence was virtually unchallenged in the United States. It did not provoke controversies, it settled them.” Critics charged that the [Webster’s Third] dictionary was reluctant to defend standard English, for example entirely eliminating the labels “colloquial”, “correct”, “incorrect”, “proper”, “improper”, “erroneous”, “humorous”, “jocular”, “poetic”, and “contemptuous”, among others.[26]


No compare to http://webstersdictionary1828.com/NoahWebster

In 1807 Webster began compiling a fully comprehensive dictionary, An American Dictionary of the English Language; it took twenty-eight years to complete. To evaluate the etymology of words, Webster learned twenty-six languages, including Old English (Anglo-Saxon), Greek, Hebrew and Latin.

Noah Webster was a Christian and famously said “Education is useless without the Bible.” His dictionary contains seventy thousand words and over six thousand Bible references and remains one of the only mainstream dictionaries to use Bible references to demonstrate the meaning of words. His dictionary is an essential tool for anyone studying the Bible.

Christian readers will find it rewarding to compare his definitions of such words as “marriage”, “education”, “sin”, “law”, “faith”, “prayer”, etc., with those given in any modern dictionary.loving-god-withallofyourheart-ha8022215-14-638

He worked hard to use scripture as a base for word meanings.

Think about the old saying ‘its not funny if only one person is laughing’. Better yet, think about the scriptural passage “But let yourYesbe ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” Matt 5:37

Finally:

9dfa364d5f5ed011c60a0851b00bc629[1]…that’s just how I see it.

Posted in Couples in Challenge

Presume (or know) they care, even when you ‘feel’ otherwise.

When you’re hurt, believe the best of your spouse’s intentions, rather than the worst. mentor marriage tip of the month

Instead of thinking, ‘He/she knew how that would make me feel, but said it anyway,’ try this: ‘Yes, that hurt, but I know they care about me, so they must not have known how that would make me feel or they wouldn’t have said it.’

Click here for the article and research.

Shaunti Feldhahn is the best-selling author of eye-opening, research-based books about men, women and relationships, including For Women Only, For Men Only, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages and her newest, The Good News About Marriage. A Harvard-trained social researcher and speaker, her findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show, Focus on the Family, and the New York Times.

Posted in Couples in Challenge

Marriage and divorce facts: the actual truth is not what they tell you.

“…the notion that half of all marriages end in divorce or that the divorce rate is the same in the church… neither are anywhere close to true.”

Yet the media has told us otherwise for years. Intentional ? Unintentional ?

Let take the church thing first. They surveys ask if they believe, not if they actually attend. Among those that attended church weekly, stats far favor marital longevity AND happiness. Further, closer to 72% of married folks are still with their 1st/only spouse.

Here’s more: http://www.christianpost.com/news/author-debunks-myths-about-divorce-rates-including-of-churchgoers-119843/

Posted in Couples in Challenge

9 negative effects divorce reportedly has on children

1. Smoking habits………48 percent higher odds

2. Ritalin use……. 6.6 percent used Ritalin. Of the children living in intact households, 3.3 percent used

3. Poor math and social skills

4. Susceptibility to sickness

5. An increased likelihood of dropping out of school

6. A propensity for crime

8. Greater chance of getting divorced……three times more likely to divorce themselves

9. An early death…….. died on average almost five years earlier than children whose parents did not divorce.