Posted in Mentoring others, Tools for Couples

Series: Maintenance ~ the Annual ‘Financial Life’ Review

For your ‘bigger picture’. Scripture has more to say about finances than any other topic. At least 1x per year, I sit with my ‘patients’ for a ‘checkup’.


Annual Review ‘Checklist’

~ For your self examination. An outline primer for our ‘therapist’ session(s) on your financial health and awareness.


It’s recommended that you consider ‘Your CHECKLIST‘ at least annually & after any significant changes. Most important point here is when 1 area of your financial life changes, it’s highly probable that it will impact other aspects.

Hence, we recommend giving the ‘bigger picture’ to any of your financial professionals when there is a change, as well as those that may be advising and counseling you in other ways (eg: religious, interpersonal, career, medical).

As a practical matter, it’s helpful for your professional to know:

  • your level of familiarity (comfort/ knowledge) with the topic(s)
    1. from novice (little/ no knowledge)
    2. to familiar with terms (a basic working knowledge),
    3. to experienced.
  • Further, and perhaps related, are you:
    1. in a planning stage?
    2. Or the ‘simply need maintenance’ stage?
    3. Or perhaps ‘crisis’ mode.

To summarize: which of 3 stages of knowledge, and which of 3 stages of life application.

Couples should complete as a team. On many topics, its important for children to be at least aware of many of these topics for learning, if not brought in for their role in the family unit & expectations in many areas.

Thank you.

The Lord Bless you and Keep You !!!


OTHER READINGS:

Crown Financial (our strong favorite): https://www.crown.org/
  • The premise of teachings: from Larry Burkett are ‘to transform people and society through the principles and practices of God’s economy.
  • Why I like it: is that everything, time/ talent/ and financial increase, belongs to God. We are to store up our treasures in heaven, not earth. While we are here, we are called to follow work ethic (Psalms) and invest (Matt 25 story of talents) and help those in need (Matt 25 sheep and goats).

Dave Ramsey: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/tools?snid=free-tools

  • Premise: live below your means now, enjoy the future more and bless others.
  • I lean in to the tools, but be aware that ‘endorsed providers’ are not as much a personalized or local referral but a format that is a mix of direct and indirect paid advertising by the professionals ‘endorsed’. I recommend finding an astute local person of character and sufficient wisdom to discern, to give you a list of professionals they’d recommend – AND why they recommend them specifically.

As always, mentor and be a scriptural example to others God places in your path. They need your testimony:

Blessings !



© 2023 Anibal Group LLC  theNetWorthLife.com  RealtyNetWorth.com  NetWorthBasics.com  AllOverUSA.com   All Rights Reserved

Posted in Couples in Challenge

Series: Challenges ~ ‘[spouse] bankrupt us, should I stay married or divorce?’

~ Wow, I’m so sorry you have to even be burdened in such a way. First hand professional experience with multiple clients is such a state, sadly. ~ Know first, others have ‘stories’, they are just to proud to tell you – they want to bury them – or prayerfully/better, they’ve gone to the scriptures and The Throne and burdens have been exchanged for joy, a testimony and deliverance. Unrelated ‘story’ I know, but my role model of persistence in the face of depressions, wars, and poverty, I introduce my grandma Pearl Anibal. The one that raised my dad – pictured. ___ Born 1900. Drove a 3 in the tree Chevy II until her last driving day. Lived out her last days in the Durand farm house where she was born, keeping a garden for organic food, and praying her list daily. She’d pray until late in the night. You could get on her list…but only death removed you from the long list. Bored me to tears as a child when we’d visit her, never giving an answer or opinion outside of quoting scripture in the sentence. Had little to her name, modest in every way. A school teacher, insisted on only the best and hard work from the kids. She raised many kids all alone after her husband died of cancer in `53. Eight fine aunts and uncles. _______ Perhaps the wisest woman I’ve ever known, wish I could chat w/ her again.


As a licensed, yet self titled Consulting Financial / Realty ‘Therapist’, I have an approach that only recently I realized was part of a larger group of professional ‘Financial Therapists’. Yes, its a ‘thing’.
 
You. You’re in the throws of crisis. You have the contact list in your phone or email list. It’s something like this:
  • Pastor – faith counselor
  • Marital psychologist – counselor
  • Legal / divorce lawyer – …again, ‘counselor’
  • Bankruptcy attorney
  • Tax accountant/ CPA
  • Banker, insurance agent, bla bla bla

Where to start? Who to call first? Who’s advice trumps the others if they don’t align? Whoosh, I feel a nervous breakdown coming on. No, no you don’t. As a believer you have this checklist to start with:

  • ‘I …
  • …can do ALL things…
  • …through CHRIST…
  • …who gives me strength’.
  • ——— Keep going ——–
  • ‘And we know that ALL THINGS work together for good FOR THOSE THAT LOVE THE LORD’.

Ok, so start at the top. 1. You need to be in Christ, so read, repent, live consistent going forward, and know that the battle is not yours, BUT, you must press on to win the prize, doing YOUR due diligence before the Lord. How more specifically? All major decisions and life changes should follow these scriptural precepts:

  1. Seek wisdom in the Word
  2. Pray w/ open ears
  3. Listen for the Holy Spirits lead
  4. Solicit wise counsel of believers more mature that yourself
  5. Consider the timing of your decisions if you are feeling lead – is ‘now’ better, or ‘later’ ? Perhaps never eh?
  6. Fast – just as Christ did.

Anibal-Group-LLC-RealtyNetWorth-theNetWorthLife_team marriage therapists and counselors for major life situations

Somewhere in the above is where my phone rings. I’m glad they called. You/ they, don’t walk thru chaos or major life change/challenges every day, maybe only once in their lives (I pray for you).
When you speak to 1 professional, you oft get their ‘tunnel vision’ only. Perhaps its not their intention, but they see your life through the simplicity of their profession and theirs only. What’s great legally is perhaps morally abhorrent. Same with ‘credit’ advice, tax advice, buy/sell a house advice, etc. There is necessarily a ‘bigger picture’ to one’s life. Ideally, each professional would defer to that reality AND be able to direct you to others to assist before making a large decision – and hopefully not a huge further life complicating mess.
  • Finally, remember, Steven forgave even those that caused his stoning death.
  • ‘Married’ allows for a ‘time of separation’ that you might pray, right?
  • There is one allowance, criteria if you will, not a requirement, for divorce.
  • Greener grass still needs care, and might be more work -statistics of 2nd and 3rd marriages hold this to be true.
  • Decisions are rarely best made when you are emotional as satan can step into the process so so easily.
  • Finally, remarriage requires abandonment. Don’t use your definition here, find Gods. How ? see above….still not sure ? see me, a ‘therapist’ (intentionally in quotes).
 

How can I help?


OTHER READINGS: Series: Challenges

I don’t dismiss or envy what you may be facing. Always glad to hear from you, pray for you. While you wait on the Lord in this time, you’ll learn to bless to others. Become equipped. They will need your testimony:

You have hard questions and need wisdom, perhaps start here.

 Answers. 

  • Labri Fellowship ~ you have questions. L’Abri communities are study centers in Europe, Asia and America ~ honest questions about God.
  • Need a book? Just ask, we have a ‘book exchange’. Take it home, bring it back when/if you’re done. Or drop off a book for us to pass along.

Blessings !


Contact Paul at Anibal Group LLC theNetWorthLife.com


My Quora ~ under the Quora name of my ‘scribe assistant.’

 

Posted in Couples in Challenge, Mentoring others, Tools for Couples

Sometimes spouse is ‘predictably unpredictable’ ~ Stay to God’s plan

You’ll want to watch a couple times to get it. Then, you’ll want to share it with those that don’t ~ get it. Get it?


The point for believers here is God has outlined your actions. Reactions can confuse and frustrate all persons to a higher degree than where you may be at. Unless you choose as a ‘reaction’ to follow predetermined ‘actions’, you will be like a car accident on an icy road, sliding all about and crashing uncontrollably. BE the control of thy self. Hint:

  • “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control”….

If you dare claim Christ as your Savior, the ‘speck n plank’, and ‘in the same way you will be judged’ are all scriptures you need to put in front of your speaking and actions.

Me too!

🙂


Challenge to the challenged:

  • Look not to remove the speck from another’s eye until you remove the plank from your own. This could take a while. But you will ‘draw close to God and he will draw close to you’. Who can take down a team such as this? To the married, ‘a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken’.
  • “Wisdom in the counsel of many”. Many what, random people? Grandma passed in 1987, but she is wiser now to me than ever before. John Wesley, Samaritans Purse, ministries to the forgotten, lost and hurting, these are my role models. The widow who gives her ‘mite’, she gives everything. Those that care for them that can return nothing? Psalm 1 comes to mind, the definition of a righteous man.  For years I’d look for feedback from those I thought ‘wise’. They looked successful, educated, ‘all together’. As time passed, I’d see how they spent time (secular entertainment, worldly pursuits), I’d see what filled their mind (non-faith based motivational books, secular novels) and then ‘fruit’. If you see ‘fruit’ for the kingdom being produced by their efforts, Fruit of the Spirit in conduct this is good. If you hear God’s word quoted: good. If you otherwise hear ‘the one with the biggest stick wins! (God? not Goliath?), or ‘well, Murphy’s law’ (vs. All things work for good if you love the Lord and follow His purpose), or other such, look for those that consistently start and end with the Lord. They pray with you asap, they give you relevant scriptures and lead you to seek the Holy Spirit, to come into closer fellowships with bible study groups, etc. Then my friend, you will have found a rare jewel, ‘… the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.” Proverbs 20:15 
  • When and how to act: Test against these –
    1. Scriptural alignment – not only selected out of context verses that might support you otherwise.
    2. Bathed in prayer. Ask others to join in prayer for a leading.
    3. Leading of the Holy Spirit – outgrowth of prayer time.
    4. Timing. Could this be done better later? Or after God opens door(s). Are doors shutting consistently?
    5. Wise counsel.
    6. Keep seeking. Think Ecclesiates for what is of value, Psalms 1, 23, 119, etc for peace, Romans for instruction, and memorize Matt 5,6,7 Christs sermon on the Mount. With that alone you’ll probably find resolve.
  • Next step to victory: Focus on others. Volunteer at the mission. Bring in a homeless friend. Host a bible study. Attend as many studies as you can – with new people you don’t know. Support a local fellowship where your support can make a difference and shares the uncompromised Word of God.  From personal experience I can attest these are all wonderful healing activities.

The Lord Bless you and Keep You !!!


OTHER READINGS:


I don’t dismiss or envy what you may be facing. Always glad to hear from you, pray for you. While you wait on the Lord in this storm, consider how you will be a blessing to others that need you after this learning time. Become equipped for them. They will need your testimony:

You have hard questions and need wisdom, perhaps start here.

  • Labri Fellowship
    • The L’Abri communities are study centers in Europe, Asia and America where individuals have the opportunity to seek answers to honest questions about God and the significance of human life.
  • Want to know how infinitely complex scripture is, and why its simple wisdom can be trusted? You may enjoy Learn the Bible in 24 Hours, click on the book picture to “look inside”. You’ll be fascinated. One of many books I pass along to clients/ friends.

Blessings !



My Quora ‘wisdom’ ~ under the Quora name of my ‘scribe assistant.’

Posted in Couples in Challenge

Series: Challenges ~ ‘ I don’t have to care for her, I get to…’

Today would have been my parent’s 67th wedding anniversary.Ma.n.Pa.perhaps.Sunday.Date

While mom is confused why she is separated from family in a nursing home, 1 month shy of 100 years of age, dad is celebrating in Heaven. This video reminds me of how mom would drive busy roads to a nursing home daily to feed dad and take him clean clothes, this in her 80’s. She was an example for spousal commitment indeed.


Also today, the sermon was regarding Joseph, the father of Christ. Life of obedience, it’s not always convenient. At the height of his career this exemplary husband decided to start repaying the 40 Years of marital indebtedness he had to his wife that made his career possible.

Wonderful.


OTHER READINGS: Series: Challenges

I don’t dismiss or envy what you may be facing. Always glad to hear from you, pray for you. While you wait on the Lord in this time, you’ll learn to bless to others. Become equipped. They will need your testimony:

You have hard questions and need wisdom, perhaps start here.

 Answers. 

  • Labri Fellowship ~ you have questions. L’Abri communities are study centers in Europe, Asia and America ~ honest questions about God.
  • In this article: https://www.brightmoorchurch.org/
  • Need a book? Just ask, we have a ‘book exchange’. Take it home, bring it back when/if you’re done. Or drop off a book for us to pass along.

Blessings !



My Quora ~ under the Quora name of my ‘scribe assistant.’

 

Posted in Couples in Challenge, Mentoring others, Tools for Couples

Series: Challenges ~ Why should I have hope?

Oh, let me count the ways. Let not your heart be troubled.


7448Parkwood-downed-tree

One grandmother – the English speaking one – seemed to never answer our questions directly. Or did she? She’d invariably say: ‘well, you know what the Bible says, ……..’ And there you have it. Perfect wisdom as its from the author of wisdom, God himself.

If you are in a challenge or know someone that is, you may be looking for answers. I’d ‘challenge’ you to ‘seek and you shall find’.

Shall I look less for satisfaction from God oppressing the enemy or more in the delights of deliverance. If I was preaching this would hence be a ‘2-part series’.

So, God oppressing the enemy vs. your deliverance.

Will God empower you to fell your Goliath who taunted until his challenge was accepted? He was dropped to the ground and his head was taken off, with his own sword no less. Weeks of taunting. No one else was provided to stop the attacks, so God enabled the taunted to overcome the taunter. Could you imagine it would have ended this way? In such utter triumph? I can attest I’ve seen in over and over, in my life, in our home. Such remarkable – and often very personal – details, that we’ve shared specifics when God is bringing those who need to hear His encouragement, and we’ve been placed in the position.

Or will God set you free and let you oppressor to bring his own fate like Pharoah? “I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him” (Exodus 3:19) He did his best to oppress the ‘less fortunate’, and seemed blind to the consequences that came with his God-voice-rejecting actions. Plagues came, people died, finally even his own son! What next? He said: “Get out of my sight! Make sure you do not appear before me again! The day you see my face you will die.” “Just as you say,” Moses replied. “I will never appear before you again.” Foolishly, he continued to chase after Moses and his people. The story splits in 2 here: the group with Moses had no where to turn, pinned against the sea with Pharaoh’s crushing army in pursuit! They blamed Moses. (Have you been blamed for following the Word of God tested against the Spirits leading, coupled with wise counsel of mature followers of Christ?) You know how the story ends. If Pharaoh had known ‘vengeance is mine says the Lord’ he’d have not drown with his blind followers in battle. What a story the delivered have for discipling others!

Challenge to the challenged:

  • Look not to remove the speck from anothers eye until you remove the plank from your own. This could take a while. But you will ‘draw close to God and he will draw close to you’. Who can take down a team such as this? To the married, ‘a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken’.
  • “Wisdom in the counsel of many”. Many what, random people? Grandma passed in 1987, but she is wiser now to me than ever before. John Wesley, Samaritans Purse, ministries to the forgotten, lost and hurting, these are my role models. The widow who gives her ‘mite’, she gives everything. Those that care for them that can return nothing? Psalm 1 comes to mind, the definition of a righteous man.  For years I’d look for feedback from those I thought ‘wise’. They looked successful, educated, ‘all together’. As time passed, I’d see how they spent time (secular entertainment, worldly pursuits), I’d see what filled their mind (non-faith based motivational books, secular novels) and then ‘fruit’. If you see ‘fruit’ for the kingdom being produced by their efforts, Fruit of the Spirit in conduct this is good. If you hear God’s word quoted: good. If you otherwise hear ‘the one with the biggest stick wins! (God? not Goliath?), or ‘well, Murphy’s law’ (vs. All things work for good if you love the Lord and follow His purpose), or other such, look for those that consistently start and end with the Lord. They pray with you asap, they give you relevant scriptures and lead you to seek the Holy Spirit, to come into closer fellowships with bible study groups, etc. Then my friend, you will have found a rare jewel, ‘… the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.” Proverbs 20:15 
  • When and how to act: Test against these –

    'All the tea in China' won't do it!
    ‘All the tea in China’ won’t do it!

    1. Scriptural alignment – not only selected out of context verses that might support you otherwise.
    2. Bathed in prayer. Ask others to join in prayer for a leading.
    3. Leading of the Holy Spirit – outgrowth of prayer time.
    4. Timing. Could this be done better later? Or after God opens door(s). Are doors shutting consistently?
    5. Wise counsel.
    6. Keep seeking. Think Ecclesiates for what is of value, Psalms 1, 23, 119, etc for peace, Romans for instruction, and memorize Matt 5,6,7 Christs sermon on the Mount. With that alone you’ll probably find resolve.
  • Next step to freedom: Focus on others. Volunteer at the mission. Bring in a homeless friend. Host a bible study. Attend as many studies as you can – with new people you don’t know. Support a local fellowship where your support can make a difference and shares the uncompromised Word of God.  From personal experience I can attest these are all wonderful healing activities.

The Lord Bless you and Keep You !!!


OTHER READINGS:

I don’t dismiss or envy what you may be facing. Always glad to hear from you, pray for you. While you wait on the Lord in this storm, consider how you will be a blessing to others that need you after this learning time. Become equipped for them. They will need your testimony:

You have hard questions and need wisdom, perhaps start here.

  • Labri Fellowship
    • The L’Abri communities are study centers in Europe, Asia and America where individuals have the opportunity to seek answers to honest questions about God and the significance of human life.
  • Want to know how infinitely complex scripture is, and why its simple wisdom can be trusted? You may enjoy Learn the Bible in 24 Hours, click on the book picture to “look inside”. You’ll be fascinated. One of many books I pass along to clients/ friends.

Blessings !



My Quora ‘wisdom’ ~ under the Quora name of my ‘scribe assistant.’

Posted in Mentoring others, Tools for Couples

How realistic is it to believe in God?

One of many answers I’ve written, authored under the Quora name of my ‘scribe assistant.’ . 

I see this passive perspective in many: I don’t believe in “______” – translation: by and large because I’m ignorant of “_____”

The more you study, the more realistic.

At a secular university I took old and new testament classes – when the professors read Psalms in Hebrew, there was a new perspective. Complex simplicity if you will in the original language not present in English. If you are truly interested in the answer, you might start w/ Learn the Bible in 24 Hours, click on the book picture to “look inside”. You’ll be fascinated. One of many books I pass along to clients/ friends.

Here’s your 2 new best friends, so to speak.

  • Labri Fellowship
    • The first L’Abri community was founded in Switzerland in 1955 by Dr. Francis Schaeffer and his wife, Edith. Dr. Schaeffer was a Christian theologian and philosopher who also authored a number of books on theology, philosophy, general culture and the arts. The L’Abri communities are study centers in Europe, Asia and America where individuals have the opportunity to seek answers to honest questions about God and the significance of human life.

Blessings !



Other Quora ‘wisdom’:

Posted in Growing couples, Tools for Couples

Laughter leads to longevity & increasing delight ~ of marriage.

The first few years of a marriage are rife with conflicts, but the emotional weather Anibal Group LLC – RealtyNetWorth.com Portfolio Brokerage _ Mentoring Marriageseventually changes, according to a new study … In time, humor—friendly teasing, jokes, and silliness—becomes more prevalent, and bickering and criticisms decline.
 
These findings, … were reached after psychologists analyzed videotaped interactions of 87 couples who had been married 15 to 35 years, and followed them over 13 years.
 
The study’s conclusions contradict an existing theory that positive emotions fade over time in a long relationship.

Anibal Group LLC – RealtyNetWorth.com Portfolio Brokerage _ Mentoring Marriages

  • I stand by my perspective that during ‘serious’ or ‘conflicted’ communications, speak: slow, calm, without adjectives, as factually as possible, in short digestable sentences. This is never a time for a ‘joke’…. You’ve been warned ;-).

Further reading:


Posted in Mentoring others, Tools for Couples

What’s Discernment?

I was recently asked this question.Anibal-Group-RealtyNetWorth-Lake-Shannon-original-ski-club-member-organizer

First, why do you need it? I’d say simply to carry out the Great Commandment and Great Commission. Isn’t that your life purpose? (I pray it is or will be).

  • memorizing scripture passages have helped me in this area … its my starting point for thought/speak. knowing to start there instead of other ‘sources of wisdom’ is key. To me, there is no wisdom that doesn’t filter thru scripture. … I’d rather read Matt 5,6,7 Sermon on the Mount (I can resolve most anything here) than a bunch of don’t-fit-together sayings, quotes and illustrations. Once I turned off media for 1 yr so I wouldn’t get any ‘opinions’ confusing me.

Further reading:  Here you will find our 2-fold life purpose, vertical worship of God, horizontal discipling of fellow man:

  • In Matthew 22:34-46, Jesus is questioned by the Pharisees about what is the greatest commandment in the Law. Jesus responds to the Pharisees’ question in Matthew 22:37-39 saying, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Following His statements, in Matthew 22:40, Jesus says that everything in the Law and Prophets depends on these two commandments. Strikingly, Jesus ends this discussion with the Pharisees in Matthew 22:42-46 asking them, “What do you think about the Christ, whose son is He?” and no one is able to answer.

Posted in Couples in Challenge, Growing couples, Tools for Couples

Marriage trick #2: Shared Purpose, like horses and the hurting

A great divider of spouses is that which separates. Yet, that which joins together for a

common purpose is one of the great rewards of a most special type of teamwork.


Consider as much this couple and their purpose in Christ as you further enjoy the testimony of Kim’s hard childhood without her parents.


Videos:

Kim Meeder: A Neglected Horse and Boy (LIFE Today) – YouTube

Mar 1, 2012 – Uploaded by lifetodaytv

The director of the Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch tells the touching story of a neglected horse and the boy who …

Apr 10, 2013 – Uploaded by SIRONEDRAGON

A well known speaker on TV shows as ” Life Today ” with James and Betty Robinson…and author of …

Jun 22, 2011 – Uploaded by WaterBrook & Multnomah

True beauty is not about how you look… but how you live. Women are constantly bombarded with the lie that …

Apr 25, 2011 – Uploaded by WaterBrook & Multnomah

Choosing to Stand for What Matters Most http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/catalog.php?isbn=9781601422033.

Mar 1, 2012 – Uploaded by lifetodaytv

The author of “Fierce Beauty” tells the story of a horse whose face was crushed and its amazing encounter …

Kim Meeder, co-founder of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch on Vimeo

https://vimeo.com › Focus on the Family Canada › Videos
Sep 28, 2017 – Uploaded by Focus on the Family Canada

Kim Meeder, co-founder of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, shares inspirational stories from her ranch, which …

Mar 2, 2012 – Uploaded by lifetodaytv

A woman whose father killed her mother, then himself, tells how Jesus Christ miraculously comforted her in that …

In this touching interview, Troy and Kim Meeder, founders of Crystal …

In this touching interview, Troy and Kim Meeder, founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, share inspirational …


 


 

Posted in Mentoring others

Marriage, finances, and governmental policies.

So says Fox News: “Marriage is a great anti-poverty program. So why does government discourage it?”marriage and finances


There’s a lot in this article, I’ll simple excerpt it and let you pour coffee and dig in yourself:

  • “According to the Brookings Institution, the U.S. would have 25 percent less poverty today if we had the marriage rates we had in 1970 (79 percent of  U.S. adults were married then, versus only 52 percent today). Cutting the poverty rate by a quarter would of course benefit individuals who escape poverty, and also benefit government and taxpayers by cutting the amount that needs to be spent on assistance to poor people.”

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2018/02/11/marriage-is-great-anti-poverty-program-so-why-does-government-discourage-it.html

More good reading:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2018/02/20/no-time-magazine-marriage-is-not-science-its-mindset.html