Bev, my so excellent SS teacher back in the 80’s once said, “….more therapists today than ever before, but marriages are still being attached by satan….if couples would just get on their knees and seek the Lord…”
To bad I have a “Concrete Random” learning style.
You’ve familiar with Cynthia Tobias’ “The Way We Learn” book, right? Surely you’re read it so you can better understand how you are different from your children…or better yet, your spouse. Naturally you want to know how to better understand why he/she isn’t as clean as you ( or perhaps a “neat freak” ), or why he needs to see map and can’t otherwise remember directions, etc etc.
The “to bad” about me remark ?…is that it took me so long to know what Bev was saying. Basically, its not how we share God, when, where, or why perhaps – but that we do. Regularly. Deliberately. Even tho she felt by and large we need less pills and less counselors and more prayer time ( and her life is a fine example of her teaching ), I believe she’d agree with me that we need to understand more about our spouse, just like we need to understand more about God.
I, for example, ..learn/ work/ interact.. with the need to actually SEE and TOUCH – so I had to have proof of the “praying has good consequences” which I got statistically years later, then believed. I also …learn/work/ interact.. RANDOMLY. As overwhelming it is for my brother to multiple tasks spinning in front of him, I am equally overwhelmed with only 1. Yikes, the stress for me to think when I’m mentally blocked on one item I can work a bit more on the other 68 open tasks on my desk and the floor all around me. My poor spouse may never understand. At the same time, I get overwhelmed if anything “gets moved” because after all – I knew just where I’d put it! Thats the CONCRETE part; if I can’t see it in plain site – it must be lost and impossible to find.
I need to work hard at making the most of minimizing my shortcomings related to both my learning style and personality type. ( see links in Tools ). At the same time, I pray I give my spouse flexibility in her lifestyle because she is indeed different than I am – Thankfully! I hope she will learn about & do the same with me.
And if we really want to use the eyes God gave us, pointing outward for many reasons, we will both focus together on pursuing Him….